Parenting

Parentcaster

8mo (girl) and separation anxiety starting to kick in.

any dos and donts you recommend?

fortune cookie casts, memes, parenting, building mini apps, /framedl, /framedl-pro & /calmer

That’s tough 

There is no playbook, and you clearly love them

In the end that’s all that matters 

I wish I had the answer

ty! normally i probably wouldn't even ask, but we still struggle with it with our 4yo. 

it's much less pronounced, but we had serious issues with getting him off breastfeeding (2.5y when we succeeded!). now we're battling kindergarten — he likes it there, and the place and caretakers are great, but he just gets really nervous and we have to expend too much energy just to get him there.

the thing is that we had a an example in family that we didn't like (kid was anxious, mom couldn't handle it so she'd end up tricking him and disappearing) that we likely overcorrected. we did all the reassurances and explanations, non-violent comms and all that, but that didn't seem to be effective.

so, now "back to the drawing board" for the attempt #2 :)

As is my role just a reminder that you’re not a bad person for leaving

You’re gonna come back and she just doesn’t know that

It’s so hard in the moment but it won’t be like this forever 

You’re doing awesome and I’m proud of you

Startup artist seeking inspiration.  Champion of /bcard

Haha I was in the same position as you!  My wife and I did a thing where she went back to work in the middle of her maternity leave so I could spend some bonding time with my baby.

At first it was a lot of crying but by the end of the period (6 weeks) me and baby were having a ton of fun and we had both rubbed off on each other.

I think it really helped our relationship to go through that.

they are, aren't they :) 

fwiw it's the mother leaving that's the trigger. i'm the one supposed to calm them down. for now, the 8mo is actually ok, as long as she doesn't see the mom. when she does, she goes wild :)

It’s a natural phase they will grow out of.

You’re not a bad parent for leaving, and they will stop crying eventually after you’re gone.  

Just keep doing your best!  Kids are resilient.

I remember this song from music class when my kids were little. 🫂

Cohost of /gmfarcaster, a live stream Farcaster news show.  Engineer. Mom x 3.

ty! i'm afraid my singing would just induce another kind of anxiety 😂

I remember this song from music class when my kids were little. 🫂 

https://www.musictogether.com/they-come-back

https://www.musictogether.com/content/media-files/They-Come-Back.pdf

🤣 thank you! looks like our situation. and it's probably how we'll be approaching it too.

The first one had serious separation anxiety. Self induced by me. You can actually spend too much time with them. Anyway I swore I’d not let it happen with the next 2. I stepped back and let dad bond. He’s benefited and so did i from not having an overly attached child. We really do create our own monsters.

chaos tornado wrapped in a mom bun, armed with baby wipes, existential dread, and SPF. @boysclub maxi 🧢 SheFi Cohort 7 💫 | Mom of 3 Girls | 📍DEN

I think it’s like the same as talking to a pet … it’s the intention behind it - I remember telling my dogs “OK be a good boy. I’ll be back later.” Etc etc 

Before you know it, she’ll be one and she’ll definitely be able to comprehend hello and goodbye  

:) 

I remember reading that disappearing for the sake of avoiding the goodbye isn’t great

even for such a young age? how would you communicate it to her?

That’s so hard

I think the main thing I remember reading about is just not to disappear always saying goodbye and letting her know you’ll come back    :)

It’s helpful to maintain a consistent and predictable routine, such as keeping regular mealtimes and bedtimes to reduce anxiety. You can also help your child adjust by practicing short periods of separation, like playing peekaboo or saying goodbye in a playful way. Things to avoid include showing sudden emotional changes, forcing separation, or displaying anxious feelings yourself. Above all, it’s important to be patient and give your child time