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In middleschool, I crushed hard on this girl. Beautiful girl, smart and with the prettiest smile. She was the Sun personified to my impressionable little mind.
For a period of time we were sitting in the same desk in class. Spots were assigned by teachers.
One day, in history class, she started leaning on my shoulder out of nowhere. I mean really lean in. Like I was her pillow or her boyfriend.
Me? I was frozen like a deer in headlights. You like to stare at the Sun, but you don't want it to hug you. It would burn you alive.
At some point, still in this position, she said "I really like you". My dumb ass replied "it's not mutual". As in, in my head, I more than just really liked her. I can guess she was surprised. Made me repeat my words, I said the same again. Head gone from shoulder.
I was a child more than a teenager really, and hopelessly out of my depth. I wish I could see this memory with my adult eyes, to truly *see*. 3 replies
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