The Firm (thefirm)

OFFICIAL MEMORANDUM Dear Employees, As you may have heard, The Firm’s long-awaited P.D.A. “Mini Application” has officially launched. Unfortunately, news of this milestone surfaced early, following a leak from our vicious competitors at Ulaan Capital Livestock Derivatives in Mongolia. Early results are astounding: as of this morning, The Firm’s active headcount exceeds that of Cayman National Bank and C. Hoare & Co. of England (est. 1672 - the world’s fourth-oldest bank). The Chairman has expressed tremendous satisfaction, stating: "Success is not a ladder, but a circle - and those outside it simply don't deserve to be inside." If you have not yet done so, please complete onboarding via the link below. Important Note from Legal: No digital token, share, commodity or asset claiming affiliation with The Firm is legitimate unless issued directly and explicitly by @thefirm. Any other offering is to be regarded as counterfeit, malicious, or spiritually unsound. Yours in success, Management The Firm https://thefirm.biz/app

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◆ SUBJECT: ON THIS DAY, 1985 ◆ On this day in 1985, The Firm proudly debuted Clarity Formula A, our "executive cognitive enhancer" produced in the hermetically sealed Stabilization Lab. Early reviews described it as "like having three promotions every day" which Legal insisted we stop printing on the label. Associate Chem Controller Mara Dempsey oversaw sourcing for the Formula's signature ingredient, Granulated Horn Substitute, an import so obscure that shipments arrived wrapped in newspapers from countries unknown to The Firm's employees at the time. Marketing backed the launch with a fleet of Roaming Salesmen, a field team instructed to "maintain strategic proximity to corporate entrances" and offer "hand-to-hand performance upgrades" to passing executives. To the dismay of hordes of executives across middle America, The Product was discontinued when US Customs requested "an introductory call" with the project lead, followed by a second call they described as "more urgent."

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As anticipation for Release 1, AutoBuy, surges through every burled-walnut-panelled corridor of HQ, Management has formally activated the HorsePower (HP) leaderboard and accompanying HP Derby within your P.D.A – a system long considered "ahead of its time" by those familiar with The Chairman's earlier work. Please visit the new HorsePower tab to view your current standing. Your rank will determine how early you gain access to every future release from The Firm, including AutoBuy, and may also influence undisclosed internal metrics. We further encourage employees to review recent HP awards and penalties within the P.D.A to better understand the often-subtle forces that govern advancement within The Firm. "HorsePower translates the human will to produce into its natural equivalent: horse labor. I consider it the Gold Standard of performance assessment.” – The Chairman https://farcaster.xyz/miniapps/qbA9MwzCCZlw/the-firm/employees

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Welcome to the Virtual Headquarters of The Firm. You’re early. That’s good. Please enjoy light refreshments while we prepare "Release 1". Until then, we encourage you to: • DM @thefirm to become a member • Partake in jovial hi-jinks with your fellow associates • Participate to build employee HorsePower (HP) This channel is a proving ground, and the Chairman is watching. Yours successfully, The Firm

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Welcome to The Firm. The world's most scrutinized financial powerhouse - where over 20,000 employees compete for the favor of The Chairman, the inimitable Franklin J. Merrimont, as the conglomerate moves to establish a portfolio of crypto-currency software packages and avant-garde prosperity mechanisms. Do you have what it takes to stay employed? Management has initiated a company-wide performance recalibration, ensuring only the most dedicated, articulate, and productive associates remain. Low-effort contributions, "gm"s, and similar infractions against The Firm's immaculate public image will result in immediate termination. Here's how to survive (and thrive): ☞ Install your Company-Issue P.D.A. → https://thefirm.biz/app ☞ Study the Conduct Guidelines → https://thefirm.biz/conduct ☞ Earn HorsePower (HP) to gain early access → https://thefirm.biz/hp ☞ Engage with upcoming software releases Failure to comply may result in public ejection through the second-floor cafeteria window by top broker Benny “Bankrolls” Jackson. Yours in success, Management The Firm P.S. Leave a sincere acknowledgment below, and you may discover the workings of HorsePower.

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It is with great pride, on behalf of every member of this organization, that Management announces our formal acceptance into the "Base Batches 002" Program and forthcoming Demo Day in Argentina. At this undoubtedly glamorous congregation of distinguished technologists and financiers, The Firm will present AutoBuy – the first of many releases in our grand advance into the Virtual Economy. Those maintaining the highest HorsePower will be granted first access to this groundbreaking system in recognition of their unwavering productivity and demonstrated devotion to The Chairman's vision for collective prosperity. Employees are invited to mark this historic initiative by registering their acknowledgments below, thereby aiding our delegation in the manifestation of success and the cultivation of general feelings of Business. CC: @base.base.eth @jesse.base.eth

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We are pleased to report optimal market infiltration. The Chairman has authorized 3 to 5 minutes of sustained applause - eyes closed - to let this week’s gains settle into the ledger. You may perform this individually or collectively as a department, at a time of your choosing. Please enjoy your weekend, within limits that do not compromise your Monday output.

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