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tiny
@tinyrainboot
sometimes i get frustrated with myself because i know most of my drive to achieve comes out of a need for validation. a need to feel worthy. a deep hole inside of me whittled away by years of feeling unseen and unheard and unacknowledged. i am channeling these feelings into the act of creation, and i wonder if it’s all corrupt from the start. if i didn’t have these feelings, would i do anything at all? would i just be satisfied with the status quo? is there a balance here? is there a “right way”? am i healing myself through reinforcement? proving to myself that i am enough? i don’t know what the right way to do anything is. all i know is that i have to give myself a shot. to pour all the energy i can into my own success. it kind of feels like i keep adding challenges for myself. to prove that i can overcome them. slowly, i am understanding my power, but this can also be an extremely exhausting way to live. i guess all any of us can do is keep plodding along. and having faith, and trusting that the path is illuminating itself as we walk.
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marlo
@marlo
relatable. i’ve been questioning my desire to be successful and a help to others and if that really comes from my highest truth or if it’s to fill an anxious void the ultimate goal is to focus on your highest passions and what lights you up the most (what journey would be most exciting to be on regardless of the outcome), and just be an example to others. but that can be derailed by anxiety pretty easily i was told i was a bad person too many times and started to worry that it was me who was the problem all along. so i had to prove otherwise (which is impossible) what’s helping me right now is deciding to think about my worst fears being true and to not give a fuck. my fear of being a horrible person after all. maybe i’m some kind of evil psychopath, but if i am then accepting it and owning it is an important step. enjoying it even. making it fun after trying that out it turns out i’m not, but leaning into that fear is the only thing that really helped release it embracing not resisting ❤️
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tiny
@tinyrainboot
thank you, marlo. i appreciate you 111 $degen
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