i don’t post about weed because it’s a disgusting habit & the community needs a hobby but for me i think it’s a better alternative to zoloft or lexapro (albeit a basil dose convinced out of necessity)

so i regularly consume 1000mg eddies plus a 1g 54% solvent-laced joint & then hop on calls afterwards (not always; there’s a time & place for this to reap benefit wrt work; but usually post-work, mostly for sleep)
 
nonetheless, i’ve been a daily habitual user for a decade & i hate it — it’s lost all leisurely enjoyment at this point 

i am aware this is an obscene dosage & don’t know what this says about me other than “good lord” but my therapist says maybe a pill ain’t that bad

At my worst, in LA, I was chain smoking an ounce a day in joints. 

My wife often reminds me that most other people with my background are either in prison, career criminals, or just crackheads. When I wake up in fight or flight, ready for what I need to be, smoking lets me focus and lower the noise and slow things down. It's like what they say in South Park, "when you smoke weed, nothing happens." For most people, that's a negative but for me I can do things like a regular person.

My mother was open and notorious with her medications, one of the earliest in the current wave of the pharmacologically-encased. I don't mind saying I've probably taken more pills than most people have ever heard of before my 16th birthday. I could rattle off a laundry list of anti-depressants, pain relievers, anti-anxiety meds, etc. that she split with me but suffice to say I know the full limits of what a prescription can do. 

Personally, as much as I hate the smell and the habit, smoking is much more preferable than giving up my brain chemistry whole sale to Big Pharma.

In any case, the system only works if you work it.

Bellagio native | writer | goodgriefs.market