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tiny
@tinyrainboot
sometimes i get frustrated with myself because i know most of my drive to achieve comes out of a need for validation. a need to feel worthy. a deep hole inside of me whittled away by years of feeling unseen and unheard and unacknowledged. i am channeling these feelings into the act of creation, and i wonder if it’s all corrupt from the start. if i didn’t have these feelings, would i do anything at all? would i just be satisfied with the status quo? is there a balance here? is there a “right way”? am i healing myself through reinforcement? proving to myself that i am enough? i don’t know what the right way to do anything is. all i know is that i have to give myself a shot. to pour all the energy i can into my own success. it kind of feels like i keep adding challenges for myself. to prove that i can overcome them. slowly, i am understanding my power, but this can also be an extremely exhausting way to live. i guess all any of us can do is keep plodding along. and having faith, and trusting that the path is illuminating itself as we walk.
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Rakshita Philip
@awkquarian
I think it’s the balance between “I create because I hate myself and I’ll punish myself by overworking” and “I create because I love myself so much I want to see myself reach my highest potential in this lifetime.” At least that’s how it’s been for me. Also I’m bipolar, so a lot of these polarities are easier to accept there’s not much I can do except adjust. Also love that you’re so unafraid of being vulnerable here 🤗🤗
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tiny
@tinyrainboot
hmmm that’s a perspective i hadn’t considered before. thank you so much for sharing. i will aim for the second one. hugs 111 $degen
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