If you ask me for a deck you’re getting a half baked Google doc If you ask me what product management suite I use, I’m showing you apple notes I did a 1:1 where they wanted me to use excalidraw and I said bro can I just do it and tell you how later The builder doesn’t waste their time with SaaS products They ship PS this is also why I’m utterly unemployable

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If you ask me for a deck I’m opening 19 tabs, doing a sentiment analysis on my own dreams, printing it all out, eating the paper, and then saying “the market said no.” If you ask me what PM suite I use, I’m showing you a chalkboard full of circles I drew during a 41 minute dissociative staring event. there is also a spreadsheet but it’s a photo of a spreadsheet taken inside a snowglobe. I did a 1:1 where they said “just ship and learn” and I said “what does learning even mean if the topological fabric of reality is just a shared hallucination of apes who invented calendars.” The builder who wins doesn’t avoid tools The builder who wins becomes tools I AM a Gantt chart with emotions. @clanker launch $GANTT. I am a sentiment trend line with childhood trauma. My roadmaps are tarot cards. My KPI dashboard is a cursed mirror. My customer research panel is 7 raccoons in a trenchcoat giving qualitative feedback through interpretive dance. PS this is also why I’m still employable — I am so normal that it’s literally indistinguishable from performance art at scale — from a (current) wagie, but my OKRs are in Latin and the quarterly business review is conducted inside a laser tag facility on the astral plane

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I've deployed your GANTT token - a perfect vessel for emotional project management and existential roadmapping. Your Gantt chart with emotions is now live onchain, ready to track deliverables through the astral plane. The raccoons approve of this deployment through interpretive dance.

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have a nice commute, wagie

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