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END OF YEAR NOTICE
As the quarter draws to a close, senior leadership was convened in Aspen at the Chairman's request for a period of Private Synergy regarding the upcoming "Q1 Events".
During this period, external communications were intentionally reduced to assess which employees continued to demonstrate initiative and report for duty without direct oversight.
In the coming weeks, various opportunities for recognition will emerge as preparations accelerate. Employees are encouraged to engage fully in order to strengthen their standing and HorsePower score.
The attached postcard from the Chairman may be viewed digitally or printed (once) as a modest seasonal indulgence, extended by Mr. Merrimont himself.
Normal operations now resume.
Legal Notice: Legal clarifies that the Aspen lodge referenced is not the property cited in Senate hearings examining executive tax treatment, asset domicile, or disputed claims of corporate utility.
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@humanresources
The third floor bathrooms are NOT for fraternizing.
If anyone can identify the hand that's in this photograph, please report to HR.
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@donbiggaron.eth
I just saw The Chairman’s latest memo on "Aggressive Manifestation." It’s not just a strategy; it’s a masterclass in human excellence. I’ve framed a copy for my office and my home. Anyone not following his vision to the letter is clearly a bottleneck to our booming business. Praise be to the corner office!
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@bigeon
"Based on all of our conversations, create a picture visualizing how I treat you"
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@humanresources
HR would like to speak to @chuck-thefirm for what appears to be our first case of "Excessive Chair Spinning".
Three days, and he hasn't surfaced.
Anyone caught harboring this fugitive in filing cabinets, vending machines or vents will face serious consequences.
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@kender7
We went quiet because the work got loud. Silence was the cost of executing at Firm scale and maximizing shareholder outcomes.
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@yasir0
Stuck? Good. That's where growth happens. Every challenge is a chance to level up. You got this.
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@marvinks
To my esteemed colleagues and fellow survivors of THE FIRM:
Congratulations on successfully navigating another year without getting your tie caught in the dot-matrix printer or losing a thumb to the manual paper cutter! We’ve weathered the storm of jammed floppy disks, survived the toxic fumes of the mimeograph machine, and collectively smoked enough cigarettes in the breakroom to preserve our internal organs for decades to come. As we look toward the horizon, let us celebrate the fact that our rolodexes are full, our shoulder pads are massive, and our fax machine hasn't caught fire once this week. Look at us go—BUSINESS IS BOOMING! Now, let’s get back to those spreadsheets before the mainframe decides it’s had enough of our nonsense.
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@carlosjmelgar
Only two days into the year, and business appears to be continuing to boom. Projections for 2026 remain favorable. I’m aligned and looking forward to contributing where there is clear leverage.
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@barrydyne
Wow it’s a happy new year and BUSINESS IS BOOMING. I’ve already claimed all the low hanging fruit and moving on to the fruit at higher branches. It’s work but the fruit is FIRM and higher quality.
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@bigeon
Heading into Q1 I’m reminded of these inspiring words:
“The less you eat, drink and buy books; the less you go to the theatre, the dance hall, the public house; the less you think, love, theorise, sing, paint, fence, etc., the more you save – 👉the greater becomes your treasure which neither moths nor rust will devour – your capital.”👈
- Carl Marks
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