it’s sad but often my first reaction to people with kids is “damn, I wonder what they do for a living to afford that”

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Eh it's not that bad tbh. Single income, expensive city, we just don't splurge on much. Life is still good.

Founder, designer, & product guy at /basepaint
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But ymmv! But also idk it's easy to imagine the downsides before kids ("I have more responsibilities and less money and sleep") and it's really hard to imagine the upsides, so I don't mind overcorrecting on the plus.

FWIW it doesn't _usually_ feel like personal sacrifice.

I over-fixated on what I was gonna give up starting a family and honestly it doesn't bother me much.

Like, occasionally I'll catch myself thinking "boy I wish I could just [do thing] without worrying about how it [impacts family]" but usually it's just a different kind of joy that replaces the frivolous expenses. Wouldn't trade it for anything.

that’s reassuring! from an outsider’s pov I think there’s a level of personal sacrifice involved. fewer frivolous expenses, trips, etc. to make it work.