I think the core of what's unintuitive about the various paradoxes of utilitarianism is the idea that utility is unbounded. This clashes with how our brains work, where there actually is a bound on how strongly we can feel (positively or negatively) about any particular situation.

Wouldn’t it be better to use metrics like life expectancy, over squishy things like feelings?

I make rockets IRL.
I reserve the right to shamelessly recast for degen reasons. 
Soldier once upon a time.

no because that would justify keeping everyone locked up at home for the sake of Safety™

How so? In the case of industry, for instance, farm equipment is dangerous, but no food is more dangerous than that. So the logical thing isn’t to avoid agriculture, but to make machines safer to use.

Socializing is dangerous, but social isolation is as well. Locking people down indefinitely would lower life expectancy over time. 

Pursuing policies that lengthen life expectancy can be done without infringing on freedoms, defined as personal lifestyle choices.