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I feel the three things people need is to be seen, heard and loved. the first two equate the third in most scenarios. However, the functionality of being able to be seen requires people to step out of an "I first" mentality. Studying history and psychology, we used to be very community focused and centered (we care about family, and friends, our block, our neighborhood, our city, or job, or county, our state, and our nation our world) but around the 1950s-1960s we began to become more "I first" where we stopped caring about the community and only cared about how we looked like to the rest of the world, and we see these trends play out so much in our culture and society today, especially in social media (that's another topic) Every since then for the most part we have stopped seeing others, we only want to be seen, and forgetting that if I see you then you will see me...hope that makes sense.
Everyone has a voice for a reason, they have thoughts and ideas, however, most of what we want to say we don't because we have been shown that what you say doesn't matter unless (insert qualifications here) we have emotions and feelings and there are times we don't feel well. I went through a dark time for the last almost 2 years, it really came to a head the last 10 months. No one actually came up to me to check-in with me, no one asked me how I was feeling so I never felt seen, and I tried to tell people something was wrong without telling them and they didn't hear it. I told some people close to me what was going on, and all I got was yeah that sucks yeah well you don't have it as bad as me, and I am hear thinking well can you hear what I am saying and understand that I am drowning here while you are at least in a raft. So I would listen to them and help them get to a safer spot but I was not seen (part of that I learned because I am looked at as a leader in my circles, and community and even in this area most people feel like I have it all together, and I don't I still am trying to figure it out.)
And without those two things than we don't feel loved. It's amazing how as babies the closeness to a baby inside mom, and when the baby is born this baby immediately imprints, skin to skin is so important with your babies, because they imprint and understand you are my people, they see, hear, feel and that helps us as we grow older. But we are all looking for love to be accepted to be cared for. Sometimes we go to extreme situations for that and it blows up in our face. Doing extreme things, when I see those things I know for the most part someone is looking for love and I will hang with them and be their friend because I know they are someone really special.
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