The worst thing about getting out of a narcissistic relationship is as much you try to move on and heal the more you feel you were a piece of garbage that was easily tossed aside. 
You spent 16 years being trained to act a certain way or live on egg shells and to totally break free is incredibly hard. 
I’m trying. 
You don’t want them to message you but part of you thinks how come they don’t. 
I’ve been putting a lot of my feelings into ChatGPT just to see what it says and it’s been helpful in the healing process. 
Also got some anti anxiety medication to help. 
It’s been hard not seeing the kids everyday but I had to get out or I was going to have a heart attack. 
Every day gets a little bit easier.

Im a self taught visually impaired artist chasing that dream and inspiring others. 
Creator of $CRITTER and Geo Critters

Time does wonders my friend. I've been where you are 

(obviously your feelings are yours alone, but u know what I mean by what I said)