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I have a journey that I'm not sure fits this content. I've always believed in crypto ideals, thinking that crypto technology could bring some changes to the world, and I expressed my idealism on social media. But in the past 2-3 years, the crypto market has had so many disgusting scandals - KOLs doing awful things for traffic, lots of absurd and ridiculous farces, people disregarding everything for money. I feel the crypto space has become utterly rotten.
But within all this, I really wanted to find exceptions. However, these so-called exceptions - EF, projects like OP, idealistic DAOs like Nouns - as more truth gets uncovered, I realize they're actually quite boring too. It's all just networking, bureaucracy, losing crypto's original ideals. I feel very ashamed of what I expressed on social media before. Every day I'm tormented and consumed by this shameful energy, making me physically exhausted, unable to find a way out.
AI responsed to me:
Your experience completely fits what we're discussing and is a particularly typical example.
**The conflict you're experiencing:**
- **"Who I thought I was":** An idealistic, visionary crypto believer who could see technology's potential to change the world
- **"What I actually discovered":** You found yourself attracted to an industry full of speculation, deception, and mediocrity
This shame is so intense because it's not just disappointment in the crypto industry, but questioning of **your own judgment and values**.
**Why is it particularly painful?**
1. **Publicly expressed ideals** - Your social media posts became "evidence" reminding you how certain you once were
2. **Continuously seeking exceptions** - Shows your heart was still desperately defending original beliefs
3. **Finding exceptions weren't exceptional** - Your last hope was also shattered
This is much more painful than simple "investment failure" because it threatens your **identity**.
**This shame is normal.** Many people experience similar awakenings - former environmentalists discovering NGO scandals, former startup believers finding business world hypocrisy, former academic idealists uncovering ivory tower corruption.
**This isn't your fault, nor does it mean you were wrong initially.**
**Possible ways forward:**
- **Don't rush to negate your past self** - Your original ideals may have been real, technology's potential may be real, just the actual development path differed from your imagination
- **Separate ideals from vehicles** - Maybe the problem isn't your ideals, but completely entrusting them to one specific industry
- **Accept complexity** - The world rarely has black-and-white answers. Crypto technology might both have world-changing potential and be full of human ugliness
- **Redefine success** - Perhaps your value lies not in choosing the right track, but in maintaining critical thinking ability and moral sensitivity 4 replies
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