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Chris Oakman
@oakmac
Tactical Advice for New Dads 🧵
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Chris Oakman
@oakmac
Having children is one of the great joys of life. It is a profound transformation that permanently alters how you experience the world.
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Chris Oakman
@oakmac
Bring an empty folder to the hospital for paperwork. Bring enough clothes and supplies for ~72 hours. Bring a cooler with food. You may be there longer than expected.
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Chris Oakman
@oakmac
Prepare your birth announcement before delivery. Take key pictures, add weight details, press send. Everyone will want updates and you will be focused on your newborn.
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Chris Oakman
@oakmac
Know how to use your car seat BEFORE going to the hospital. You do not want to be adjusting straps the first time with your newborn in the seat.
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Chris Oakman
@oakmac
Set up a dedicated nursing station with everything within arm's reach: water, snacks, phone charger, etc. Use red lights in the nursery.
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Chris Oakman
@oakmac
Newborns constantly emit liquids: buy a box of puppy pads and plenty of soft towels. Place a puppy pad under the baby on top of a towel during diaper changes and lounging.
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Chris Oakman
@oakmac
Poop on a onesie? Rinse with hot water, put in the sun to dry, then wash normally. The stain vanishes - no harsh chemicals needed.
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Chris Oakman
@oakmac
Focus on helping Mom. Her hands are busy with baby, your hands should be busy helping her. Ensure she gets food, water (important for breast milk production), and a comfortable environment.
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Chris Oakman
@oakmac
One well-rested parent is more helpful than two exhausted ones. When it's your turn to rest, make it count. Quality sleep for you means better support for Mom.
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Chris Oakman
@oakmac
Keep a few empty gallon Ziploc bags in the diaper bag for blow-outs and soiled clothes. Always keep an extra baby outfit and at least one towel in the bag.
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Chris Oakman
@oakmac
For especially gross diapers, put in a twist-tie storage bag and tie a knot around the top. You're welcome 💩
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Chris Oakman
@oakmac
Lots of stuff is marketed as "for babies" that you don't really need. Be skeptical of single-purpose devices targeted at new parents. Focus on quality basics.
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Chris Oakman
@oakmac
You don't need a bottle warmer if you own a sous vide machine. Set to 100°F and put a weight on the bottle to prevent floating.
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Chris Oakman
@oakmac
Only snaps and zippers on onesies (no buttons). Having two zippers on the main opening may seem excessive, but it is actually quite helpful.
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Chris Oakman
@oakmac
Avoid "baby containers" like swings, seats, rockers, etc. Babies need a flat, solid surface for proper motor development. Look into "tummy time".
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Chris Oakman
@oakmac
Our species managed to survive for many thousands of years before the baby section at Target existed. You need less than you think.
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Chris Oakman
@oakmac
Crying is the baby's only way to communicate. Relax and be a calm presence in tense moments. When in doubt, trust Mom's instincts on what baby needs.
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Chris Oakman
@oakmac
Babies sleep best in a quiet, dark room. Contact naps are normal, encouraged, and sweet. But eventually baby needs to sleep independently.
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Chris Oakman
@oakmac
Anyone who will be in close contact with baby in the first 6 months needs a recent Tdap shot.
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Chris Oakman
@oakmac
Don't be afraid to cancel or reschedule social visits if necessary. Your family comes first now; everyone will understand.
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Chris Oakman
@oakmac
Money can solve some problems, but time and emotional energy are your true currency. Prioritize supporting mom and spending time with your baby. You are not going to get this time back.
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Chris Oakman
@oakmac
Mom's body and mind are adjusting to unprecedented demands. Baby only knows the basic needs of staying alive. Both of them need you to be a strong, stable force in their life.
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Chris Oakman
@oakmac
Anyone can have a child, but you must choose to be a father. You are going to be an amazing Dad. Welcome to the club.
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Chris Oakman
@oakmac
More here: https://chrisoakman.com/writing/tactical-advice-for-new-dads
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