Memes

Title: “How I Became a Shaman at the Bank for 7 Minutes”

So I’m standing in line at the bank. It’s hot, Wi-Fi is dead, everyone’s mad at life. Out of nowhere, this lady, like 60-something, walks up and asks me:

— “Do you work here?”

I was this close to saying no… but instead I go:
— “Yes. But I’m not your regular employee. I’m an energy consultant.”

She blinks.
— “What does that mean?”

Me, fully committed:
— “I cleanse the ATMs from negative financial energy. When a terminal lags, that’s usually toxic transaction buildup. And I also check the karma of debit cards.”

She hands me her card. Dead serious.
— “Please check mine. Money keeps disappearing from it.”

I hold it like it’s a sacred artifact and say:
— “There’s a strong energetic pull from… A.T.B. You must resist the ‘2 for the price of 1’ deals immediately.”

She nods in deep spiritual understanding.

Three minutes later, I walked out of that bank like a legend.
No paycheck. Just vibes