jp 🎩 pfp

jp 🎩

@jpfraneto.eth

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something that i have been doing this week is completely one shotting the same app im creating but from different perspectives with brand new prompts each time. like i sit down and describe the system for 10-15 minutes. just writing it, new. and then see how: 1. my perspective of what im trying to create changes, and that comes out on the writing 2. the llm gives me back feedback of what im doing that is valuable to distill the flows of information (ux, data, etc) through the system (this directory speaks for itself. ive started from scratch different ideas so many times. and now with ai that process feels nurturing because it is like chewing the problem you are trying to solve over and over again with new perspectives and with an infinite toolkit driven through the power of infinite curiosity and awe and wonder and creativity)
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about 6 months ago i decided to onboard my partner to the degen aspect of crypto, by sending her 8888 usd worth of $dickbutt at that point it was 1/5 of all the money i had back then. she saw it becoming 12k in a few days and then drastically saw it all the way down to 800 usd but she has held it like a pro on this game. diamond hands we rid the rollercoaster all the way down together and im 100% sure that life will reward that patience. because this is our bet on this cycle, and i decided to focus all my economical energy on a meme the most ridiculous outcome is the most probable screenshot of a week ago. today this is 2.5k? and she is excited about it we love money and everything it unlocks (and it has been so important for me that she actually lives through the rollercoaster, so that she can understand a little bit more my shifts in mood because of how wild this stuff actually is)
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young jp finishes his math assignment before most of everyone on class. he feels good about it. proud. as if the achievement of being "better than the rest" was what fuels him. he looks around , bored. waiting for the recognition from the teacher young jp feeds from that recognition from authorities that image came back today on the gym, as we were doing the workout of today with the group. for the first time since i started going to this gym 4 months ago, we were doing everything as sa group and i saw myself starting the new round before others. they were resting, i was ready for more young jp was there, comparing himself with others. doing things faster than them. feeding that hurt ego that is alive today. and it was back then and as that recognition came into awareness, i asked myself: why? what's the reason of doing things faster than the group? why do i detach myself from them? i don't need to tell anyone "im better" the only one im racing against is me. not them. every one is on a different level. every other person is having their own trip why does mine need to be in relationship to them? why do i need to run alone in order to satisfy this need that i don't completely comprehend, but that i can see and feel? i decide stop. and rest. with them and look around. and smile. and discover: i don't need to be the fastest one i don't need that recognition. i just need to do the work. to face myself through the consequences of doing the thing, and just navigate the challenge of that class together. together why am i in a hurry ? what makes me be in that hurry.? it is not necessary. it is not necessary at all. im just doing my best here. everyone is doing their best why does young jp need to /be better/? (as if doing things faster was "better") im on a race against myself. you are on a race against yourself. and each time that you look around you and feel that you are actually on a race with "them", anxiety kicks in im not running as fast as him. i haven't achieved what she has achieved. she is younger than me and somehow... better she is yonger than me and somehow better... where will this take me towards? what is that bringing to me? the perspective of that burns inside. of not being the best one in class. of not being the first one to finish always comparing with the one that is next to me but when will it be with me? si i close my eyes and focus on what i feel inside. how my muscles burn. how the experience of what is in me burns and i release that tension. the pressure. the expectation. i invite my self to release it all in the acknowledgement that it is not me all of this is not me. it is just a mirage compare yourself against yourself and your past experiences. that is all of what you know releasing a little bit of that tension that had every jp be in a rush to earn the love that the world had for him because of being "the best" and he had earned you don't need to be the bests you don't need to be the fastest you already deserve to be loved you just need to be you it really is as simple as it gets
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i started 2025 with three resolutions - have my second child (nacha got pregnant on the night of new years eve) - run a marathon (been training 3x at the beginning and now 5x week since the second of jan. at times 6x. ive been a samurai. and will run it for my birthday, as a celebratory gift towards life, on the 10th of august) - write a book today i want to talk mainly about the second point. because that's what fresh right now. my work this month is creating a miniapp for $runner of the /running channel. and i am about to go for a run. literally sitting in front of poiesis, writing these words, and telling you how i feel through them i started running because i wanted to stop smoking weed. that was the initial motivator. i saw on my relationship with weed an expression of an imbalance that needed to be tackled from the root. so i set myself on to an extreme to force it out of my life well, guess what i just smoked from my pipe before opening anky to write this one second time today. the other one was on the morning. right before diving into the mind bending experience that programming with ai is, through a global internet that moves money at the speed of light i feel fundamentally and constantly mind blown. and somehow the story that i tell myself is that weed helps me in that process it invites me to not take myself seriously. it invites me to release tension. it invites me to breathe ironically, the thing that fills my lungs and probably make me have a "worse " performance on my running is the same thing that has me on that constant state of needing it i recognize the addiction. i feel it. it curses. from the inside out. im at points with my daughter and my awareness goes to the moment on which i will smoke. and i start projecting into the future that moment. those sensations. the escape. its as if life was a cooking boiling pot of infinite pressure and somehow the perspective and act of smoking make it a little bit more bearable fssssss it is released. and then felt a bit more. the valve opens, and i open the door for it to happen through me but i cease to be present with her. and i judge myself for that oh boy, you don't know how much i doubt myself. and how much i judge myself. like my whole experience of the relationship that i have with reality these days is shaped by a giant sign that is hanging right there on my unconscious. it says, with glowing neon letters: YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH . . . but at the same time. from another place of that awareness. or from another set of sensations and experiences, there is a voice that knows. there is a fundamental observer that sits through all of that and says: you are free so that is the tension, that is happening in me, dear reader, right now and im going to run it. to experience it. to feel it, right as it its. right as it comes. with what it comes. a big part of me feels weird sharing this piece of writing. imposter. im not enough IM NOT ENOUGH the voice is loud and it feels heard but there is another one that just smiles and gets ready to run. through this cold night of july through the streets that i built with my father (ill leave that story for another time) 6x1200m@4:44 lfg
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Meditation hidden behind stream of consciousness writing.

Category: games

Tags: farcaster, identity, guide, learning, growth

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