manifesting

the last few weeks of therapy have been about money blocks

it has been very painful, but very illuminating, to connect the current patterns in my life back to what i was taught growing up

like not being allowed to get a job, instead used for labour for almost nothing in return—i learned that working myself into the ground was the bare minimum required to justify my existence and avoid danger

my nervous system was programmed to believe i needed to give everything i had just to survive, and couldn’t ask for anything back, which would also be unsafe

so i work too hard, expecting nothing, and it’s not generally valued by people. i have to get money mostly through luck or kind support

too many intensely ingrained patterns have been thwarting me, but i’m determined to resolve them. i have things i want to make and do and i don’t want the past sabotaging it

just because the past was crazy doesn’t mean my whole life has to be. i can get onto a new path and find new people who value me and my work…

Thanks for sharing! Sending you positive vibes to achieve your goals