Yesterday, I received a call from my aunt. She asked when she would finally be introduced to my future husband. She also mentioned that my mum wants grandkids, but doesn’t know how to bring it up with me.
It was a serious conversation. One I’ve been dreading for years. Because the truth is, I’ve made the decision never to get married or have children. And if I were to ever get married, it would be to a woman, not a man.

But that’s not a truth I can easily share. Same-sex relationships aren’t legal where I live. They aren’t just frowned upon, they’re criminalized. Choosing not to have children is seen as rebellion, selfishness, even wickedness. This will always be funny to me. 
In this part of the world, if you don’t have a child after a year of marriage, people start talking. They say you’re barren, a witch, or that you had too many abortions and destroyed your womb. The blame always falls on the woman. They did it to my mum.

I crochet 🧶 for fun and I love watermelons 🍉

As a firstborn child, the weight is heavier. But I will not live my life for them anymore. I already did that and I couldn't bear it. I still have to hide certain parts of myself till this day because I'm scared of being ostracized by the people I love. Maybe it is a reality I have to come to terms with, I might lose them.