@awkquarian
i stopped romanticising the idea of building in public when i realised how much of what i was creating had started to be driven by ego rather than curiosity.
the moment you start performing for an audience, your brain begins to rewire around being perceived and life starts feeling a little like the truman show.
you’re cosplaying you, but you’re not quite you anymore. because so much of who you are only comes out when nobody is watching.
so lately i’ve been creating in silence. on paper, in workshops, with friends, offline, without immediately turning every thought or experiment into content or a finished piece and that’s helping me heal from my own ideas of performance, perfectionism and how i want to be perceived.
maybe that’s part of why so many young people are craving offline spaces again. when you spend enough of your life being perceived online, the identity loss becomes a very real consequence of that.