FADE IN:
A place to discuss everything related to screenwriting and playwriting including but not limited to the creative process, formatting and terminology, competitions and opportunities, reviews of produced work, movies and TV discussion.
@tokenizedhuman
Really enjoyed Hoppers. Had no idea what that was going to be about before going in, but loved it. Pixar consistently knock it out of the park.
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@tokenizedhuman
2nd draft more or less complete. Might have rushed through ti too quickly. Will leave it for now and check tomorrow.
Didn't learn much today, but I did learn that-
1. Broiling is a dry-heat cooking method that uses direct, high-intensity heat—usually from an oven's top heating element or a broiler—at temperatures around 550°F (288°C) to quickly sear, char, or cook food.
2. You should not place a comma before the conjunction ("and") when it connects two verbs that share the same subject.
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@tokenizedhuman
Right then, calling that a week (3 days really).
Up to 62 revised pages, some of that was easy because it was better written, some of it was harder, because, well, because it wasn't as well written.
Most of this is adjustments to descriptions and dialogue, and not structure, which I do in the planning and outlining stage, and the first draft. I did shift an intercut scene around, though, just because it felt better coming in a little later. I may still cut scenes before it's finished entirely, but I'll do that after this draft is complete to check overall pacing.
Should be on track to finish the second draft by the end of next week, and maybe even have it in competition ready shape by then too. PAGE is $69 for entry until 15th march and $79 after that until 15th April. It's likely the only one I'll bother with, and may not even bother with it at all. $69 is a lot of cheddar for a screenplay that has to find the right reader to have any chance of success.
Anyway, I'll think about that next week.
So, what did I learn today?
1. The area between the windpipe (trachea) and the jugular veins in the neck is a critical anatomical region containing major neurovascular structures, muscles, and deep cervical lymph nodes. The primary structures located in this region are part of the carotid sheath.
2. Unmoving and not moving generally mean the same thing in common, everyday language, as both refer to a state of being still, stationary, or motionless.
3. A carcass is primarily the dead body of an animal, particularly one slaughtered and dressed for food with its entrails, head, and feet removed.
4. Common synonyms for rain include precipitation, shower, drizzle, downpour, and rainfall.
5. A non-restrictive participial phrase is a descriptive phrase starting with a participle (like running, broken, or having eaten) that adds extra, non-essential information about a noun.
6. Tweety is also known as Tweety Pie or Tweety Bird
7. It is spelled Tinder.
8. No one owns the planet Jupiter, as celestial bodies are not subject to human ownership.
Stay tuned for more exciting updates!
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@tokenizedhuman
Right then, Another twenty pages done today so we're up to 35 revised and a total page count now of 104. Some of those pages are formatted in a particular way as a stylistic choice and won't take a minute of screen time, but it should balance out anyway as the script itself is action heavy.
Can't do anymore. My head is about ready to explode and there's no point in continuing now as the quality won't be good enough anyway.
More tomorrow. Working on a rough mid march deadline as I want to drop this into the PAGE Awards comp.
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@lwatts
I just got a Blacklist evaluation back on the first screenplay I’ve yet submitted there. I got a 7 with some actionable notes to notch it higher. 8 is where you really have to land in order to be read/discovered, so I’ll give it another pass and re-submit. In case there’s interest: https://blcklst.com/profile/L-Watson
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@tokenizedhuman
About 15 pages into the rewrite. Spent about two hours agonizing over one sentence on the first page. And about another hour trying to work out hoe best to format one of the sluglines.
Fuck I hate this part of the process. Still, script is pretty clean. These are just minor tweaks now to style and clarity. It's got to pop, and it's got to be clear, those are the two most important things for me at this stage.
Oh, and after just a week off, I feel as rusty as an ironmongers shite.
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@tokenizedhuman
Tidied up that last section so I'm calling that officially a first draft now. Going to take a break over the weekend and then will do a full read through a few times without changing anything as I go before coming back after another break for the rewrites.
Pretty happy in general with how its turned out. It's a wild screenplay that mixes horror and comedy and action. It's unconventional, and is a pretty good reflection of my style.
97 and a bit pages in total.
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@tokenizedhuman
That's the full on action climax at the end of the film now written. Just the coda and the first draft will be complete. Thought it was running long, it's actually pretty much where I want it.
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@tokenizedhuman
Tough writing day today. Monday's are always tough, picking up again after a couple of days break. Lots of actions segments gone in today and I always find it difficult working out the right way both to translate image inside head into words on paper but also in a way that communicates intimacy. Also, I killed off one of the main characters. That's always fun.
Also wrote the logline this weekend, after about a million and one rough drafts of it.
Up to 84 pages. Hoping to get first draft done this week so I can have a week off and then get into the rewrite with fresh peepers. Couple of major scenes left to go, though, plus the glue that holds them together - need to work out a couple of transitional moments for those.
Can't complain.
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@tokenizedhuman
Finishing up week three here with 78 pages. Pretty stoked with that really. We're at the beginning of the end section now.
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@tokenizedhuman
Okay so this was actually the Mazin article I was looking for before that gives a much clearer explanation of the central dramatic argument - i think this is a transcript actually of a podcast.
https://johnaugust.com/2019/scriptnotes-ep-403-how-to-write-a-movie-transcript
Of all of the structural theory stuff I've read, I truly believe this is the most accurate, and most helpful for construction a recognisable, western movie framework.
What your hero wants comes out of this, not the other way round.
Typically we write from ideas and try to apply logic to them. I get an idea for a scene that sounds cool, and I ask myself where does this scene go in a bigger story, but the better way to do this, which is counter intuitive in some ways is to ask yourself what do you want to say and then find the right story to match it (or adjust your own idea to match it) which doesn't always work. Ideas are ideas and they are ten to a penny but they've not narrative, and you'll be beating yourself over the head all day until you switch it up and ask, what is something I want to prove to someone (your protagonist) is true? Now, how do I go about doing that in the most entertaining and emotionally engaging way possible?
This is thesis (central dramatic argument) --pick whatever you want that to be whether it's something like unhealed human evil, when subjected to extreme isolation, will inevitably consume itself through the destruction of the family unit (the shining) or ife gains meaning through connection, community, and compassion, even in the face of profound grief (A man called Ove) or confronting the painful, complex truth—specifically regarding grief, loss, and the desire for an end to suffering—is necessary for emotional healing, even if it is agonizing. (a monster calls). These are all needlessly wordy and can be simplified down to something like:
You can't treat madness on your own (shining)
Life is worth living (ove)
grieving is necessary to move on (monster)
Mazin covers this incredibly well in the article but your job is to spend the entire film convincing your protag, who believes the complete opposite (anti-thesis) that this thesis is in fact true, and their way of seeing things is false. And you do that through action.
When you decide what you want to say, you can then decide how best to say it (show it).
Easy right? Actually, it's not. It's hard. But if it weren't hard, it wouldn't be fun. And once you've nailed the what and the how, you already have the structure, and the rest is just writing in the gaps.
5 and a half pages done today on my WIP. Happy with that.
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