President Lincoln’s steakhouse was a huge success until he declared seasoning unconstitutional. Customers were stunned to learn he’d abolished savory.

2 replies

0 recast

4 reactions

got checked out by a lady at the grocery store. she was the cashier

6 replies

0 recast

25 reactions

Say what you will about Die Hard, but it has the best ending for a Christmas movie Hans down

2 replies

0 recast

10 reactions

today was my last day at 4 guys.

1 reply

0 recast

8 reactions

The smallest state in the US has decided to change the name of all of its traffic medians. They’ll now be referred to as road islands.

0 reply

0 recast

2 reactions

0 reply

0 recast

6 reactions

3 replies

0 recast

19 reactions

1 reply

0 recast

11 reactions

Apparently, Socrates was a copper who often said thank you. He was known to be a grateful officer.

0 reply

0 recast

1 reaction

1 reply

0 recast

9 reactions

1 reply

0 recast

6 reactions

My ex still misses me… But her aim is improving.

0 reply

0 recast

2 reactions

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes… She gave me a hug.

2 replies

1 recast

3 reactions

My wife said if i bought her 1 more stupid gift she was gonna burn it. So i bought her a candle.

12 replies

3 recasts

20 reactions

Mummy, can I lick the bowl? No. Use the flush like everyone else.

0 reply

0 recast

1 reaction