Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.

I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over it. 🛣️😅

I don't need an alarm clock, my anxiety wakes me up. 😬⏰

I’m on a new diet. I eat everything, but just a little slower. 🍽️⏳

If I were a superhero, my power would be making bad decisions at the worst time. 🦸‍♂️💥

I'm not procrastinating, I'm just giving my ideas time to marinate. 🧠🍷

I have a personality you can’t forget... mostly because I’m very forgetful. 🧠🤷‍♀️