@thefirm

⚠ SECURITY BULLETIN ⚠ It has come to Management’s attention that several exceptionally attractive new hires may, in fact, be covert operatives from Kinoshita Genomic Partners, the disgraced Osaka-based biotechnology firm previously implicated in the Haneda Incident - wherein a refrigerated diplomatic pouch containing various forms of The Chairman’s DNA, both liquid and illiquid, was intercepted by authorities. While it is well-documented that The Chairman’s charisma has drawn excitable women from across the globe to join his various ventures, employees are reminded to remain vigilant. Any flirtations, advances, or suspicious offers of “private genome consultations” are to be considered acts of industrial espionage tied to The Firm's Release 1 and reported immediately to @humanresources. “Desire is the enemy of productivity.” - The Chairman

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