@thefirm

◆ SUBJECT: ON THIS DAY, 1985 ◆ On this day in 1985, The Firm proudly debuted Clarity Formula A, our "executive cognitive enhancer" produced in the hermetically sealed Stabilization Lab. Early reviews described it as "like having three promotions every day" which Legal insisted we stop printing on the label. Associate Chem Controller Mara Dempsey oversaw sourcing for the Formula's signature ingredient, Granulated Horn Substitute, an import so obscure that shipments arrived wrapped in newspapers from countries unknown to The Firm's employees at the time. Marketing backed the launch with a fleet of Roaming Salesmen, a field team instructed to "maintain strategic proximity to corporate entrances" and offer "hand-to-hand performance upgrades" to passing executives. To the dismay of hordes of executives across middle America, The Product was discontinued when US Customs requested "an introductory call" with the project lead, followed by a second call they described as "more urgent."

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