story

Storytime today is about the time I smoked crack just to prove a point. 

When I was 12 my friends started drinking. Alcoholism runs in my family a bit and even as a kid I really didn't want to go down that road. I don't really remember too much peer pressure but when I was 14 or 15 I found straight edge punk and suddenly not drinking or doing drugs was part of my identity.

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One day, I asked my human for a treat, and he said, 'Sit!' I sat. He said, 'Stay!' I stayed. Then he said, 'Roll over!' I rolled over... and then I noticed the treat was still on the counter. I looked at him and thought, 'Wow, this is the longest trick ever!

"If at first, you don’t succeed, then skydiving is not for you." 🪂😂

I would agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong. 😏

"If I won the lottery, I’d still be at work tomorrow... just to tell everyone I won." 💸😎

I’m not fat, I’m just easier to see. 🍩

I’m on a diet... I’m just not on a diet for food." 🍕🤣

I’m not short, I’m just more down to earth than you. 🌍

I could be social or I could be in bed with snacks. Guess which one I’m picking? 🛏️

"I’m on a 30-day diet. So far, I’ve lost 15 days. 🕒"

"I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes ever. 😅"

If I were a superhero, my power would be napping. 😴

I’m not weird, I’m limited edition. 😜

I told my dog he was a good boy. He looked at me like, "I know, human. I’m the best.

I wish my wallet had a skip intro button. 💸⏩

I couldn’t figure out how to put my seatbelt on. Then it "clicked."

I’m not procrastinating, I’m just giving my plans a chance to improve themselves. 🧐

Xiao Minh 🎭

@skakic8