“You know, when you were little,” he continues, “we bought a book for the nanny called How to Control Your Strong-Willed Child. You couldn’t read yet, but you must have caught the gist, because she’d open the book and quote it to make you behave, and you tried to flush it down the toilet. And for a long time, you stayed that same kid. You walked into every room and conversation ready for a fight, but it also turned you into a woman who had to do everything right, and you broke down when you couldn’t.”