@ramsey
ITAP of a jumping spider!
Ciao, ragazzi! My name is Fabio (not sure why @ramsey would make me Italian, but just go with it).
I'm taking care of the berries part of the garden, hunting flies and other pests. Well, I was doing that until Ramsey rudely transferred me to the table to take an insane amount of photos of me. But he did manage to catch my good side, I have to give him that.
More photos in the replies, plus one photo for size comparison!