@nishu
[lichess] lost over 200 elo in previous 2 weeks. won a lot of games over 3 days, went from 1600 to 1838 (previous high 1833 in may 2026). even fell from 1500 to 1300 or so on chesscom (highest was 1600+ in may)
to give a recap of 2 weeks, why i feel i was losing:
- was losing
- got tilted
- played very recklessly
- missed opportunities
- attributed my opponents victories to "luck", "cheating". gods being angry at me. me abusing the gods. gods torturing me.
what got me out was realising:
- playing impulsively
- not evaluating well
- realising missed opportunities
- breakthrough happened when i joined an arena and almost defeated a 2000 player, that reinforced back the idea that i am the best. i just need to lock in.
- one move blunders
- meditation
- universe teaching me to maintain composure and clarity during the worst unpleasant situations. not lose cognition to the heat of the moment.
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