@marlo

for the last several weeks my morning ritual has involved waking up, tuning into the feelings/pain/challenges present, and using an IFS-based approach to address every issue and pattern one at a time today, there was only silence. no parts waiting to be heard. no trauma to solve this could mean that all parts have been integrated, or it could mean that my brain just needs a break. either way, it’s a bit jarring my life up until this point feels only like a vast collection of trauma responses. even the good stuff is a direct result of healing trauma and running as far as i could in the other direction i know that an important part of healing is to discover a life that is authentic instead, and i wonder if that is starting here and now the last few years have been completely focused on healing and i don’t have any clue yet what is next. there’s no real way to know what the healed version of me will want to do until i become her today, it’s important to not force myself back into old habits for the sake of productivity, fulfilling expectations, or the comfort of familiarity. it’s time to move forward it feels like a good day for deep meditation and silence. to allow my brain some space to recover and rewire. will this be the end of an era or just a break from it?

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