I've actually never bought a stock in my life 

if they bring them onchain I will

I have a couple of 401ks (I think). never logged in to check. 

I closed my bank account in 2012 and moved to a credit union when they started charging me $12/month just for having an account. I couldn't afford it back then.

aspiring degen and indie/folk music enthusiest

me: i’ve never logged on because i don’t want to deal with tradfi bullshit 

jabba: log in and deal with tradfi bullshit

understand that’s not the sentiment of your post but can’t argue with the free money you got if your company matched + paying less taxes on btc exposure

ideal would be to roll the 401k into an IRA where you could get BTC exposure through an etf - fidelity is one of the only ones I know where you can do this tho