meditation

have been practicing self inquiry (ramana maharshi style) for about 3 years every time that i remember. also on my meditation practice.

feeling fascinated by how my “mind”, or notion of self has become like a definite bag of tension that lies behind my eyes

it’s as if all of what my awareness perceives as “jp” and what constitutes that egoic construct is condensing and wrapped on to a bag of sensations that another part of me knows that is not me

so the practice becomes to release the identification with that tension. and what comes after that feels like freedom. or openness. it’s as if i was a balloon and this tension is what is inside the balloon (or the plastic of the balloon) and life and god and everything that is is outside the balloon and the balloon itself (its walls) is “me” and that “me-nees” is becoming free of itself and it’s scary but also everything that i ever want in life

it’s tricky to identify with it tho bc that’s what solidifies the balloon’s walls: ego

At the end, you observed the observation n n 
And you become just that