John
@johnivan0
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gm!
Took two months off from Farcaster/X/newsletter in general.
Initially had some personal stuff going on so was just offline. But then I decided it might be a good time to just do an overall reset. So I turned off notifications and moved the apps out of my Home Screen.
What I thought was just going to be a 2-3 day thing ended up being 2 months and I’m really glad I took my time with being offline.
After 5-6 years of being chronically online in the crypto-tech world, I didn’t realize how messed up some of my mental wiring was. I truly needed to zoom out and just reset my brain.
Below, I’m just noting down some brief thoughts mostly for myself. I have a lot of reflections but wanted to start somewhere. Maybe if anyone else is feeling burnt out or stuck, hopefully this helps.
Regardless if you read or not, I’m really happy to be back and have fun here with my friends. Wont be using my twitter anymore for the near future.
1) Sometimes when it feels like everything is going to shit, you just need a win that is in YOUR control. You need a quest. For me, I decided 6 weeks ago “fuck it I’m gonna sign up for a half Ironman that’s in September”. (Yes I know it’s a privilege to do this but can be lower stakes as well). I had no choice but to just go all in on training, fix my diet, get sleep, etc. I quite literally didn’t have time to be overthinking. And last weekend I just finished my first sprint tri. Channeling all my anxious energy to something else got me out of my head and let me think with a clear mind.
2) It’s liberating to see how much you don’t matter. After years of tweeting and building somewhat of a following I thought people would be like “hey why isn’t he sending out a newsletter?”. Rather, the only people who gave a shit were my FRIENDS and a few loyal subscribers I made on this niche purple app that actually gave a shit about me as a person. And that felt fucking awesome. Makes you rethink what your north star is.
3) I absolutely hated it when people told me this, but I get it now: you can’t engineer your life’s work, you need PURPOSE. Burn out, self doubt, chasing the shiny thing, etc are all just symptoms of not having purpose. I was doing my creator work purely from the lens of an engineer. How do I get more subs? How do I optimize open rate? In regards to #2 above, it’s freeing to know that no one cares about what you do for the most part so you might as well do something that’s inspiring. For me, that means rethinking what / how / why I write. Something that helped me a ton was just writing without publishing. When you know no one is going to see the page, what naturally comes out? Purpose gives you the fuel when you’re in a work drought. I have a much better idea now, but it’s a never ending refining process.
4) We all know this, but I’m making an effort to remind myself that working hard and spending all day on your laptop doesn’t mean you’re some giga chad beast who is changing the world. 99% of us in the startup world are just coping and hiding behind our laptops from actually going out and experiencing our lives. Inspiration isn’t on the google doc planning, it’s by talking to people, trying new things, and yes…allowing yourself to have fun and embrace the serendipity. I tried a bunch of things recently that I would have said no to because I have to work and it was bizarre how much those experiences connected back to my work and helped me feel unstuck when I was back at my desk.
5) Creators and founders should treat themselves like elite athletes. If you have purpose, then this is your life’s work. Don’t try to finish it in 3 years. All your success is downstream of how mentally calm and sharp you are as well as how energetic and physically fit you are. I want to be a life long writer so I’m going to build the endurance for that and make sure it’s top priority. When I’m 77 I want to be be like fuck yea baby I’m still going.
Last quick point, be there for yourself. Don’t confuse the grind mindset with shitting on and punishing yourself. Do not be cruel to yourself. Be proud of yourself and where you are and know that growth and even better things are 100% down the road.
In regards to the quote cast below, the darkness you feel will go away when you know that you’ll be your biggest fan no matter what happens. As fruity as it sounds, it’s probably the single biggest mindset shift for me recently. When you embrace that it’s not an external thing, you will have zero doubts that dawn has arrived. 69 replies
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