story

Story time: 
The most famous eating competition in the world is at the the Big Texan in Amarillo, TX. If you've seen the famous eating contest scene in The Great Outdoors, that is based on the contest at Big Texan. To win the contest you have to finish a 72oz steak, a baked potato, a side salad, roll and a shrimp cocktail all in under one hour. 
I have always had the ability to put away food, I won my high school's pie eating contest three years in a row, and I love a challenge.

The Big Texan was forever on my bucket list so when my friend Alex needed someone to help her move cross country, I was in. I convinced her to take Route 66 the whole way. I had done it once before and the trip turned into my first book Get Your Kicks. I spent 17 days on "The Mother Road" for that book, but  with Alex we only had a few days couldn't hit everything, but I had one place I knew I was going to stop: The Big Texan.

Before the road trip even started I jokingly launched a Kickstarter to pay for my $72 72oz steak. I told people that if I didn't eat the steak they would get nothing, but if I finished it everyone would get a button that said "Ask me about a giant steak." 
Kickstarter suspended the account because you aren't allowed to raise money for expenses like food, but I argued that it was performance art and somehow they actually accepted my premise. The campaign was a huge success.

The day was finally here and I was put a on stage with live cameras broadcasting it to the internet.  People were encouraged to bother me while I eat. I remember after they announced I was from Brooklyn some guy in a cowboy hat came up to me and said "What does a Brooklyn boy know about steak?" I said sir, I live in walking distance of one of the most famous steakhouses in the world, and this one of the worst steaks I have ever had in my life."
The steak was truly disgusting. I have no idea what part of the cow it came from, but I would guess the back of the knees. After 15 minutes of speed eating everything tastes terrible, but this was garbage from bite one. I have a competitive eater friend so I asked him for tips. The first one he gave me was great one: always be cutting. Every cut is one less chew, so while you are chewing, also be cutting. The second tip was to eat your favorite food last. This was a mistake -- the last bites I took were of the shrimpiest shrimp, and I almost puked.

But with those last bites of shrimp I had done it. I defeated the Big Texan with about 15 minutes to spare. I could have done it faster, but when I could see the finish line I slowed down knowing I had plenty of time. I would spend the next 24 hours in some truly horrible pain, but I did it. I won. They put my name and time up on the wall and gave me a free t-shirt and a certificate. I have the certificate displayed in my office instead of my diploma because I am way prouder of this moment than I am of my bachelors degree.