story

I am rank 32 with an hour to go so you get one more story time at the buzzer. This is the story about how Abella Danger poisoned me.

I have been friends with Abella for a long time and if you don't know who she is, don't google her. It's fine. And don't blame me if you lost money investing in a shitcoin called $ass. That is on you. 
Anyway, I'm in LA for the release of my book Instaxxx (shopdbb.com) and I go over to Abella's place to hang out. At some point she's getting tired so I am gonna go back to her friend Blair's place where I'm staying while in LA, but she's trying to convince me to stay. 
I have horrible insomnia so I told her I couldn't cause I needed my sleeping pills and she pulls out this tiny pill wrapped in it's own little packaging and tells me that it will knock me out. 
It was a THC pill and this is 2017 and weed has just been legalized in CA and in my mind, this is some specifically engineered pill for sleep. I guess I should have asked more questions.

I have been friends with Abella for a long time and if you don't know who she is, don't google her. It's fine. And don't blame me if you lost money investing in a shitcoin called $ass. That is on you. 
Anyway, I'm in LA for the release of my book Instaxxx (shopdbb.com) and I go over to Abella's place to hang out. At some point she's getting tired so I am gonna go back to her friend Blair's place where I'm staying while in LA, but she's trying to convince me to stay. 
I have horrible insomnia so I told her I couldn't cause I needed my sleeping pills and she pulls out this tiny pill wrapped in it's own little packaging and tells me that it will knock me out. 
It was a THC pill and this is 2017 and weed has just been legalized in CA and in my mind, this is some specifically engineered pill for sleep. I guess I should have asked more questions. https://www.paperview.media/?view=3749&ref=0xc51149934febB0DccBf683060bf6C29BE523e254

So it turns out the pill is 45 mg of THC which is a wild amount given that I don't smoke weed at all and once someone gave me 25mgs and I pretty much lost my shit. So I am immediately freaking out and she is like "you'll be fine" and just goes to sleep. So I am just in her bed staring into nothing, trying not to panic.
At some point my whole body starts to tighten up. I am clenching my jaw and for some reason my ass muscles. Like I can't make the tightness in my glutes go away. I get out of bed and go into her kitchen for some water and I decide to stretch, but because I am high I do it in the weirdest way possible. I put my foot up on her counter which is well above waist height and I am trying to stretch when I slip and I like see my life flash before my eyes thinking about how I am going I am going to be found dead in my underwear on the floor of a 20 year old porn star's apartment.

Fortunately I survive the night somehow and I am awoken to this phone call from a completely different porn star letting me know that she tested positive for chlamydia and I might have it. She said she would pay for my test if I met up with her. I am so, so high still, maybe even higher than I was the night before but now I am sleep deprived and panicking. I have no idea how I managed to even drive from the Valley to Los Feliz, but I would imagine it was very slow. 
I had a photo shoot that morning and now I have to call the model and let her know that I am going to be late because I have to go get tested, oh and I am so high that I cannot breathe. 
Fortunately I tested negative, and continued my inexplicable unbroken streak of never contracting an STI, but I wouldn't find that out until later so when I finally show up for the shoot I am not doing well. I tell the model the whole story and we took some great photos and by the time the shoot was over I was finally starting to come down.

Later that night I go to a party and Abella is there and I tell her about my day and she is is just laughing at me. I was legitimately pissed off at her, but my mood changed shortly when I saw the most beautiful woman and went over to take her photo. When I gave her my card she not only knew who I was, but we already had a shoot planned that Saturday. I just didn't recognize her because she wasn't wearing makeup and I just knew her from Twitter. Her and I started talking and she came to my book release party and by the time Saturday rolled around, the photo shoot wasn't a photo shoot anymore, it was our first date and we ended up dating for 2 years. The end.