emotional

At this point I think I'm cursed or something..
I've date 3 girls between 2017 till date..
They all left me for no reason 
Now I feel like I'm u lovable or cursed or something..
The 2nd girl I dated said to my face that she was just managing me all along..

I was depressed for months before I could get myself back..
We dated for 3years plus and I felt so stupid cus I want kind and treated her well ..
I was so lost into depression 
I don't have any friend
My best friend (my dad) passed away in 2020
I literally don't have anyone I can even talk to at all..
I keep everything to myself and it's eating up from the inside..
I might eventually die fr man 😪