please pay attention to how people speak about and with others - both in public and in private

> do they speak with understanding? do they make attempts to understand where someone is coming from?
> do they always complain?
> are they always the victim or under persecution by others?
> can they disagree and remain respectful when faced with dissenting opinions or critiques?
> are they accusatory or immediately confrontational?
> do they offer support? are they good listeners?

this is how i decide whether or not i take what people say with a grain of salt. what's your pattern been? how have you been known to show yourself, behave, and treat others?

if something seems wildly out of character for someone and who you know them to be, it usually is

Absolutely agree. How people speak and treat others reveals more than their words alone.