Farcaster

was shooting film with my camera. i had left a torn up post it note at least a year that said ‘4 exposures’ implying that I had potentially 32 more exposures/shots. today i was shooting mostly pictures of my partner and kiddo, immaculate sunsets and landscapes. suddenly the counter read 35 exposures. rarely do I get the chance to shoot all 36 shots and was excited to make the last one count.

my excitement only grew when the number read 37; a rare but not quite impossible chance to shoot a 37th exposure. when my camera read 38, i became filled with dread, perhaps the film was broken. when i read 39 and again, 39, i knew that there was only one conclusion.

39 *click* 39 *click* 39 *click* 39…

i went into a nearby boathouse hoping to find an unlit corner. i opened the camera hoping to find a completed film canister but at that moment both the camera and i were at once different and at once the same. 

empty and devoid.