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Ahmad Zare
@ahmadzare
"BREAKING: Intergalactic floof lands on Earth, immediately demands worship and wet food. 👾🐈⬛🥫 #NotACat #ProbablyAnAlien" Fun Fact: "Scientists say cats' purring may have healing properties—which explains why your void hovers over your face at 3AM. They’re just doing routine maintenance. 💫⚕️ #FurryMedic" Alien Log: *"• Planet of Origin: *Snacktar-9* • Mission: Assimilate all lap territory • Weakness: Crinkly toys (distracts from world domination)"* Emoji Transmission: "🐈⬛👽🛸💫🍗🤖 decodes to: EARTHLING—YOUR TUNA RESERVES WILL SUSTAIN MY KIND" UFO Manual: *"WARNING: This specimen: Operates on cat time (all timezones at once) Performs gravity tests by knocking things over Communicates via hypnotic slow blinks"*
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