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jp 🎩
@jpfraneto.eth
lately my daughter (3.5 yo) has gotten into the habit of being the leader of games. and when there is something that goes different than what she has in her mind, she feels angry. sometimes translating that into punches or bites if she decided that a piece of paper is a menu of the restaurant and one of her friends says it is an airplane: boom. conflict. we just had one of those and had to go away from the house of her friend because of the conflict and it’s hard to deal with it. any stories you have around this? what works? what doesn’t? it’s so wild to reject a behavior of your own kid, and feel and see that she is developing her own character and personality. the good and the bad. how to hold space for that?
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Fran
@0x99fran
So for my first kid. There was a phase where he would hit if he got upset. So one thing we always tried to convey is that it hurts. Not down play but really like “owwww” so he realized that it was hurtful. And we would clearly say we do not want to be hit. And the next thing is I would immediately remove him from the room. Usually to his bedroom. Hitting always ended whatever we were doing (even if that made him more upset cause now he couldnt play) And i would just hold him in there until he calmed down and was willing to apologize. (Mind you this might take 10-20 minutes) of just holding him. Eventually this behavior stopped once he realized hitting wasn’t getting him what he wanted but actually taking him away from stuff.
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jp 🎩
@jpfraneto.eth
yep. yesterday we had to go away because of she hitting. so hope that she got that it was counter productive did he say “I’m sorry” directly or was it hard for you to get to do it? yesterday we told her that but eventually it was my partner who said it for her (which I don’t like, but mila has a hard time saying I’m sorry)
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