Being Present I haven't had time to decompress. I haven't had time to ponder on thoughts. I've done a lot of talking, expressing emotions, sharing memories, etc., but would love to have written notes of this type of "feeling". I've been just drowning in work deadlines while trying to be present as a parent and husband. Then certain life events happens and it does bring things back what's really important in life, yet you still have to grind away (at least I feel I have to). I was a paul bearer for my cousin Claire. I wasn't close to her, but it still is awfully sad for a relative to pass. To leave behind kids and loved ones. I don't know all the details, but she was diagnosed with something (some form of cancer) a couple of years ago. I don't think she let family know too much, but it probably was bad. She was undergoing experimental therapy (maybe for a couple of years off and on). Just maybe a couple of weeks ago (before Thanksgiving), she came down with an infection then her organs started to fail.
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It's been awhile and many things have changed. Crazy, it's already Thanksgiving. Time goes by so fast, especially with the kids around. I've yo-yo'd with fitness, but back on track and feeling better. A lot of it has to due with burnout, hangover from burnout, and no sleep. Doing a better job at managing it for now.
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I'm crashing out again. I'm just going through my vibes, trying to keep things in check as I know I'm breaking some of the things that I've gradually built up. Forming habits (healthy habits) requires gradual, intentional movement towards a goal. I've been very successful in the past 2-3 years of being very consistent. Even when getting off track and allowing myself to acknowledge that, I've aways been able to steer back and slowly get back on track. Recently, everything is just coming to a crossing point. I think (well I know) that I'm taking on too much small projects while dealing with 2 main clients. I need to say no or decline and I also need to prioritize things between the 2 clients I do work for.
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