@yana2203

February 24 , 2022 - the day that divided life into “before” and “after.” I woke up to my sister’s phone call: “The war has started.” At first, my mind refused to process it. It felt like a mistake, an exaggeration, a nightmare I would soon wake up from. But reality made itself known very quickly. There was no time to freeze. I had to act. I called my students’ parents, told them that classes were canceled, tried to reassure them, repeating, “Everything will be fine. The most important thing is not to panic.” Strangely, by calming others, I was somehow calming myself. Long lines at gas stations, in grocery stores, at ATMs. People with anxious eyes. The feeling that the ground beneath your feet was no longer stable. For a while, I don’t think I even had the space to show weakness. And was there weakness then at all? It felt as if my whole system switched into survival mode - no room for confusion, no permission to fall apart. By the third day, we had already started online classes. And that was the moment when I truly had to hold myself together. Not to show fear. Not to let my voice tremble. Because there were children on the other side of the screen. They needed something familiar to hold on to - a lesson, a routine, a simple “open your notebooks.” In a world that was collapsing, we were creating a small island of stability. And perhaps I am grateful for that opportunity. Grateful that I had a reason to get up in the morning. That responsibility held me above everything and did not allow me to break down or sink into darkness, even while the world around us was falling apart. This does not mean there was no fear or pain. It means that purpose turned out to be stronger. When we continued to study, to read, to speak, we were quietly proving that life goes on. As long as a teacher’s voice is heard, as long as a child raises a hand, as long as we plan the next lesson, we endure. And now I understand: the strength was not in the absence of weakness. The strength was in choosing to be someone others could lean on.

12 replies

6 recasts

37 reactions