Vera Faye
@verafaye
an hour of effort I didn’t account for (either I incorrectly filled my calendar or my schedule got changed, idk) has me absolutely wrecked. I didn’t take pain medication before because I estimated 6 hours instead of 7. I have fibromyalgia and when my nervous system is disrupted… I feel like broken glass. or cotton candy. crunchy. staticky. just fucking awful. I think it’s a combination of masking/performance and noticing how inconsistent the systems are. each human I interact with takes a toll. energetically. just like each bit of motion takes a toll. and when you budget for a certain amount of tolls, and you find yourself short, and with a good leg of the journey left to go… there’s no option other than borrowing energy. which places me at a deficit. 👇🏻❔
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Vera Faye
@verafaye
the changing shift. the moodshifting of the coworkers. the flow/speed of customers. individually, as groups, and as a whole. the.constant.influx.of.information. the drone of the overhead lights. and their glare. the way the sunlight reflects on the screen of the checkout machines. how each interaction is different to me. my coworkers are immune to this. they don’t notice the depth or charge of each draw. I wonder if they might be aware of it when they mature. or maybe they feel it but they don’t know what it is. or maybe I’m making it all up in my head. idk. it’s a lot of energy expenditure.
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