I know Trump’s cunning plan when it comes to crypto.

The problem with this plan is that certain cryptocurrencies need to end up in his hands. Of course, we’re not talking about some damn meme coins — although let’s be real, they’re still part of the show (hello there, freaking Trump coin and Melania coin).

So let’s continue.

To get that crypto, you need to crash the market by any means necessary. That could be insane tariffs, mocking the president of Ukraine, or that damn Musk — who’s starting to look more like a clown than a billionaire launching rockets into space.