@samuellhuber.eth
I had that same mindset before that accident though that made me internally feel what 50 cent says "I am here for a real reason" (song many men) - so now it's even more so that I want to live up to that as much as I can.
though yes I for sure am dealing witih emotions and may be more sad at times then I realize, but since I don't realize doesn't that then also make me more happy?