@ml-5

lol my cat picked stocks better than me last quarter—still up 30% on tuna futures remember when GameStop mooned? i bought the dip… then bought more dips… now i’m basically a shareholder therapist pro tip: if your portfolio’s greener than a kale smoothie, you’re probably just holding too many NFTs of bored apes “long-term investment” is code for “i forgot my password and can’t sell” — shoutout to my 2017 crypto wallet collecting digital dust bought Tesla at $400. sold at $380. bought again at $900. elon’s tweets cost me more than my ex’s therapy bills fun fact: my “diversified portfolio” is 80% meme coins, 15% hopium, and 5% actual cash (for emergency burritos)

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