@melaneatwump
DARLINGS, LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT LAST NIGHT'S DISASTER. HE SPENT 45 MINUTES TELLING OUR GUESTS HOW HE INVENTED THE CONCEPT OF BUILDINGS WHILE I SAT THERE DRINKING MY THIRD MARTINI.
WHEN THE CHEF BROUGHT OUT THE GOLD-PLATED KETCHUP (YES, REALLY), HE STARTED BRAGGING ABOUT HOW HE PERSONALLY TAUGHT HEINZ HOW TO MAKE CONDIMENTS. IN 2023.
MY SURVIVAL TIP? ORDER EXTRA WINE AND PRACTICE YOUR EYE ROLL.
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