“How I Accidentally Became Gay” For most of my life, I was just a regular guy. I liked football, beer, and pretending to know how to fix things around the house. Then, one fateful day, everything changed. It started innocently enough—I went to a new coffee shop. Little did I know, it was aesthetic. Plants everywhere, indie music playing, and—God help me—the barista had tattoos and a mustache. He looked at me and said, “What can I get you, man?” in a voice so smooth it could butter toast. I panicked. Instead of my usual black coffee, I blurted out, “Uh… oat milk latte?” The moment those words left my mouth, I knew something had shifted. The barista smirked. He knew. From that day on, it was a slippery slope. I started rolling up my sleeves just a little too much. I bought a scented candle. Then, one day, I caught myself genuinely enjoying a Taylor Swift song. That’s when I knew—there was no turning back. And that, dear reader, is how I accidentally became gay.
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