Isn't a better measure of marriage whether or not the marriage had a form of self-actualization, rather than time together? 

Moving to this as a standard is a lot better than reverting to traditional norms of bread winner and house caretaker. 

I'm not sure what it means for a marriage to self-actualize, but I think a hint lies in the difference between give-give and give-take relationships. A lot of marriages are in the give and take zone, which is better than the take and take zone, but not as good as the give and give zone.