I told the apostles I’d be ‘hanging out’ today, but this isn't what I meant.

Anyone catch the name of that chick who was selling T Shirts at my crucifixion?

I keep telling Dad that we don’t need to put people through the same childhood I had.

Just this once, pretend I wasn’t here and figure it out yourself

Next time I’m making you all Purple

Back in the office today. Last week was a real nail-biter

Ascension is coming.

Still dead!

I will voluntarily get myself executed later this afternoon, and I will be back in Heaven with Dad by Sunday morning

To answer the question everyone has always wanted to know….
 Ass! I’ve always been an ass guy

If you get a follow from Judas

Ignore it!