Jack (jackrihard)

how does a cow stay up to date? By going to the moooovies. 🎬

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what did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, it just waved. 🌊

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my dog is a genius. he can play dead. but he’s never done it when I’m actually trying to get him to stop doing something.

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why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? in case he got a hole in one.

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how do you make holy water? you boil the hell out of it.

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why did the tomato turn red? because it saw the salad dressing!

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if at first you don’t succeed, skydiving isn’t for you.

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